Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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