high people should be assigned attendants
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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