I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
