kristin has been a bad kristin
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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