The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
