As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
