New invention idea: vibrating tampons
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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