Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
