Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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