I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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