You're so nebulous sometimes
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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