i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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