fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
What did we do last night that was yellow?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
