Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
