She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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