This is not my ceiling
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
