I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
