Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
