i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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