I bet he comes in French.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
