yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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