Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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