im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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