i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
