u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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