the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i love accidental penises.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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