Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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