Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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