grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
