I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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