I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
