actually, I'm a sock model
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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