So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
