he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
