I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
