Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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