your thong is hanging out like whoa
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
