its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
