margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
