We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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