someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
