i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
