if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
