It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
