: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
