After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
