porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
