During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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