umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
