How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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