She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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