Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
