Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
