OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
