What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
