I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i think i have two assholes
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
