sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
