Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
