i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
