i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
