They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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