i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize