He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
