apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
