Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
