he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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